Up With Grups - The Ascendant Breed of Grown-Ups Who Are Redefining Adulthood -- New York Magazine

Up With Grups - The Ascendant Breed of Grown-Ups Who Are Redefining Adulthood -- New York Magazine

what i wish notes

What I wish I had known about ChurchPlanting
Shari Thomas
GCA 2/06


1. I wish someone would have told us, that we both would need a support system greater than just each other.

...that we would need coaches and mentors, and we should plan at more than one stage in the journey on getting counseling....and when we didn’t have this support system it would be up to us to seek it out!

2. I would have greatly benefited knowing that we needed to come to a mutual understanding and commitment about what my invovlement in the church plant would be.

...that we would often neeed to review this involvement through out the stages of church planting and seasons of life...that when the children were young, my husband and childxren would require and need most of my time. I wish he’d known how much I would need his support in stickiing to these commitments rather than both of us rescuing ministries when they floundered.

3. I longed for someone to gently come alongside me and remind me again and again that what my husband needs from me most is love and respect.

He can find coaches, teachers, nags and critics in countless palces. He already has one mother. And when it’s late at night and we are falling into bed that this is not the time or place to hear one more idea on how to make the church successful!

4. If I had known that my heart as well as his would be hurt, angry, and almost torn in two by this ministry we might not have planted a church.

....but we also may never have learned the delight and satisfaction of pointing each other to Jesus, to the hope that only the gospel brings, and the deep joy of leading others to this hope..

5. We would have benefited from being told that the question “should we stay in this church?” will be one that will haunt us through out our ministry lives.

I was not prepared for him rolling over in bed doubting his call. I didn’t know we would question if God had brought us here...that when my husband’s passion and energy for the church plant was waxing, mine might be waning and vice versa.

It would have been helpful to know this was normative.

6. I am thankful that someone told us we would have to work harder for a marriage where there is spiritual, emotional, and phsyical intimacy than we would have to work at planting the church.

...that this would involv sacrifice on both of our parts, and it would be well worth it.

7. I am glad he learned early on that church planting gave him great freedom to creatively mold his schedule to fit the needs of both his family and the church.

I am grateful he takes time from church ministry to pour into the lives of our kids: working on school projects, creating feasts in the kitchen, taking vacations, catching the latest block buster,filling their lives with music, asking them the tough questions, drawing out their hearts, repenting openly before them....I love watching their eyes fill with pride when they introduce their friends to their dad.

Nothing draws my heart to him more than that he loves our children so well.
8. But I am most grateful that my husband keeps learning that no one can pursue, strongly lead and cherish me the way he can.

...that when I’m withdrawn and discouraged, his gentle wooing speaks volumes...when I’m masking deep hurt with anger, his strong, consistent pursuit melts me like nothing else

...when darkness has masked Jesus face, I have felt another strong hand leading me home

....and when it’s all said and done, and we are at The great marriage feast I will recognize the tastes and sounds and smells. The dance will be vaguely familiar. For hints of the realm unknown have drifted across the border land. And I have caught glimpses of what is yet to come. My husband has shown me the way.